Support is Overwhelming...

Wow...what a long last couple of days. Paul is doing a little better, well pain wise. The doctors took him off his IV pain meds today and replaced them with patches and oral medications. This hopefully will work for him so he can go home and be comfortable. I did finally get up the strength to go see him Sunday. He definitely is not himself, but I will take every single moment I and the rest of the family can have with him. I also went up and saw him tonight. We watched the show Wipeout. Whoever would go on that show for sure is not in their right mind. But it was nice to hear Paul laugh.
Now onto the support. It is unreal how much support I have been shown from so many people that don't even know my uncle or any of the rest of my family. It is hearwarming, really it is. I finally can talk about it without breaking down. It is hard, but when people ask me, I feel their concern for our family and want to share with them. My coworkers have been unbelievably understanding and supportive. The administrator stopped me today and work to ask me on an update and how I was dealing. THAT means a lot to me. Not a day has gone by that someone hasn't asked me about Paul or even just how I am doing. I am so so so thankful for the good people in this world. It is unfortunate you only see some peoples' true colors in situations like this. It doesn't matter I guess, I am comforted knowing people are praying for Paul and our family, and they don't even have to say anything to us.
This fourth of July will mean more to me than ever before. I am trying to keep a positive head, but I am also keeping in my mind that each and every day is more important than the last because of the unknown. I know very well that Paul may not be here for the next holiday, but I also know miracles happen every day. A friend asked a very interesting question, "What is worse, getting a phone call saying your loved one is gone, or watching your loved one suffer knowing what is coming?" I do not know the answer to that. My answer is, I don't think anyone can ever be prepared for this part of life. Neither situation could be easy. Illness and death just are NOT easy period. All I do know is, I, as well as the rest of my family, will be taking one day at a time, and thanking God for each day he gives us all together. Many people have told me in the last week to spend as much time with Paul and the rest of my family as possible. Make every minute count, and that is exactly what I plan to do. Life really is too short to take things for granted and my eyes are opened to that each and every day, more now than ever before.
This post has kind of been all over, but once again I just need to write somewhere. Paul has a caringbridge site. www.caringbridge.org/visit/paulallen If you get a chance go ahead and read his journal updates, and all I ask is that you send a prayer up for him and our family. No sympathy please, just prayers, that is all I ask. God has a plan, and very very unpredicatable ways of playing that plan out, but I trust in Him knowing He is doing the right thing, even though it really does hurt. That is all I have for tonight. I don't have so much on my chest now that I am able to talk to others about it. I am sure I will write again soon.