A Time of Healing

My uncle Paul passed away peacefully on July 13 and 9:45 pm. I was at his house, not just that night, but for the week prior also. My mom called me at work on the Tuesday before, saying that Paul had taken a turn for the worse, and they were not sure how much longer he was going to be with us. I immediately left work, knowing I had to be with my family. I had a feeling things were not going to turn out as well as the last two times the cancer had arrived. Negative thinking, I know, but I just had the feeling. Most of the family went to his house that Tuesday night, and the priest came to do Anointing of the Sick. My aunt from Arizona and I decided we were not going to leave his wife, Patti, to care for him night and day all by herself. We stayed up the WHOLE night that first night because Paul would continuelly try to get out of bed, but his legs were not strong enough to hold him, and his walking had declined. It seemed that every two hours he was trying to get up again. Wednesday came, and I slept for about three hours. That night, I stayed again. I couldn't handle leaving all of the care on his wife, when we have such a big family, I felt I needed to do something, and I knew I could stay and care for Paul.

I also stayed Thursday, which by this night I was more than tired, but I put that behind and concentrated on making my uncle as comfortable as possible. I watched with my own eyes as he declined in health throughout that week. Friday I had to go home because I had to work the weekend. Saturday, it just so happened that I had forgotten my phone charger at their house, so I went down there after work that evening and Paul was up in his recliner watching the Twins game. I talked to him briefly, he was not very responsive the whole week, but he would answer questions when we asked and let us know when he was in pain. Sunday, I decided I would go home after work and get a good night's sleep and spend the day at his house since I had the day off. Well, Sunday evening at work, I just had this feeling that I needed to go down there. I headed down there and when I got there my aunt told me he had been sleeping most of the day, had not eaten anything, and was not repsonding as well as he had been. Before I went to leave, I went to his bedroom door to see him, and his eyes were wide open and he was holding his hands out to give me a hug. I practically ran over to his bed and gave him a hug and told him I loved him, which he said he loved me too. We sat and watched the TV for a few minutes as he gently rubbed my back. I heard him mumble something but couldn't make out what he said. When I turned to him, he emphasized his words "Thank you". He then fell back to sleep.

I was filled with hope after that very important moment spent with my unlce Paul. Monday I went out to eat with a friend, Kerrie, and as soon as we were done I headed back to his house because I just thought maybe he would be alert again like he was the night prior. As luck would have it, he was not. He had declined so much in just the short time from the night before.

Working in a nursing home, I have seen many people at the end of their lives. When I walked into Paul's bedroom on the 13th, I knew he would be leaving us to be our guardian angel very soon. I spent the WHOLE day there. I was supposed to work on Tuesday, but put that in the back of my mind as I spent time with the family that was there. We had the priest come and do Last Rites around 9:00 that night. We then all took our turn saying goodbye and telling my Uncle he had fought the good fight and if he was ready to go, he should go. Forty five minutes later, he was watching over us from above. I MISS HIM VERY VERY MUCH!!!!

Watching him suffer just that short week, was very very hard for me. I stayed with him and his family only because I FELT I needed to help in some way, and I knew that was one way I could help. It is something I will never ever ever regret doing, and would do it in a heartbeat for any one of my family members. Things are starting to go back to some type of normal, although I know they will never be the same normal they were before Paul's death. I do know this: He is not suffering any longer, there is NO cancer in Heaven, he will have the BEST seat at any Minnesota Vikings and Twins game from here on out, and the fish are ALWAYS big in Heaven.

The support our entire family has received throughout Paul's illness and passing is HUGE!!! Hearing stories from his students and other friends that we had never heard are comforting for our family. We heard how Paul touched others' lives that we had never known before. I also know this, he touched more lives in his short 50 years, than most people will touch in a 100 years. I will hold close all the memories I have of my Uncle Paul. It is what will get us all through our grief. Thank you Thank you Thank you to anyone and everyone who kept us in their prayers and thoughts, sent their sympathies, and cards. I love you forever and always Uncle Paul, and I thank YOU for allowing me to spend the last few days of your life with you!!!!